i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
