I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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