I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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