I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
