What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
