I don't think brook has ever known best
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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