Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
