Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
