i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
No subtext here. People are naked.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I know her cup size but not her name....
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
