It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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