Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
