What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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