You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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