Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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