I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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