Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Houston, we have a blender
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
