hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
