Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Randomize
