check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
