And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
