READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
