Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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