we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Pooping to opera.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
