This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
