Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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