I'm really into asian looking animals
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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