therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
