Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
