So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
