Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
