I feel great
I just peed on a car
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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