hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
