do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
