Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
