The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Please don't give away my fajitas
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
