I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Someone came in the potted fern
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
