a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
