id be glad to
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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