Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
