did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
