Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
We have started to decorate penises.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Randomize
