I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
