Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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