So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
