thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
