he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
