You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I have already put on my inside pants.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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