There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
