I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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