That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
